man, i never write in this thing daily..

<br>but its okay, cause it could give me much more to write about.

and that brings up my point, there has been so much that happend.

well im a sophmore at duluth high school..yes surprised i havent moved from duluth yet due to the fact that i move ALOTT. im 16 years old, which makes my sisters 18, 13, and 11.  amber, the 18 year old, is actually moving out of the house. to live with her boyfriend in a house. im really happy for her. ha that also means i get my own room ;)

<br>but yeah this year is almost ending too. its crazy. the year 2007 was...interesting. so much has happend but then again the year was..just a blur. i honestly didnt really like this year too much. so many people have changed too. i have changed. im gonna be straight up honest too..me and nishima dont hang out as much, me and tessa dont hang out as much, me and amy dont hang out as much..its crazy. but its happening, and i dont know what to do anymore. amy le is my best friend ever right now. and im hoping it will be like that always til the day i die. tessa is still with frankie, and i think that is the awesomest thing in the world. cause ive never had someone like that. but its weird..i dont even talk to tessa everyday. and i hope she knows how freakin worried i am of her, and that i seriously think about her everyday..i miss her. nishima is i dont even know. sometimes i just dont care..im too buy with my own life to care, and its always been like that ever since school started.

<br>my grades have always been on the low side. and this year hasnt been anything different. but ive been thinking and i really do want to bring up my grades and maintain them. i want to be successfull. i just need to try hard. like...hard.

<br>what recently happend to me was that i was in a car accident. on december 13th. i have never ever been in a car accident before and i must say i will never forget that i was in one. it wasnt like a big accident like in the movies. but sitting in that car made it feel like it actually was. i was in the back seat of the car sitting to the right behind the passengers seat. and were pulling into a neighborhood..and this car out of no where comes towards us from the side and hits MY side of the car. the right side..the back of the car. lucky no windows were broken but i got the wind knocked out of me and whiplash on my neck. I honestly right then and there, i thought i have died. my life would have been over that night if the car hit anywhere else besides where it actually hit. I appreciate life..to the greatest extent right now. and i love everyone, my family, my friends, myself for being alive. it really is something that i will never forget. i cant imagine what it would be like to lose everyone..everything i know and the things ive done..it really makes me want to do something useful in my life. and to keep that up.

<br>just yesterday actually i was in a theatre competition, and it was all imporv. its called dads garage. it was sooooo fun and i loved it. i really want to get into that more, i have never improved on stage with an audience  before and it was exciting. every time i perform..i am always looking forward to the feedback form the audience. thats about one of the reasons why i perform..for the people. and myself of course. but it really gets me inspired when i hear just a simple "you did great up there"...it makes me feel like ive done something right. and that right there just keeps me motivated in acting. i seriously want to make this work. i will become an actress. i will be famous. just watch. :)

-Ashlyn Huking

 mkay. well i havent updated this journal in awhile.

well.

a few things are on my mind right now..actually, ALOT of things are on my mind right now.

well spring break is just around the corner, i am totally excited about it. i cant imagine how much fun its going to be. but also, in a way..idk, i guess im not TOTALLY SUPER excited about it.

and honestly, idk if im ready for summer anymore.

You see, i have this best friend. YES. im calling her my best friend, cause she truely is. and when i say shes my best friend..i mean it. Amy Le. i have never met a girl like amy le. nope. she is amazing. really. this is the type of person where i literally can tell her anything. i love it. i love her. and i hate it when people say i cant say shes my best friend when i havent known her long enough. wtf. seriously, theres a huge difference between knowing someone longer, and knowing someone better. and honestly, from the first DAY i met her, i knew we were going to be close. the first day we met eachother we passed notes in class when we sat right next to eachother..we would giggle so much we had to hold our mouths tightly so we wont burst out laughing.

little things like that get to me. and even when i see amy for like a few seconds for one day..you know im just glad to know she has a smile on her face.

but she will be in north carolina in the summer. it sucks. like seriously. i think im gonna be so miserable im going to die.

i think about how this summer will turn out. and honestly, i dont want to think about it. you know, i see my best friends talking about it, like "ohh yeah summers gonna be great! like the last summer! ahh i cant wait, we will do everything the same like last summer."

you know, if you plan it out and think aobut it, when the day comes your going to end up probably disapointed cause it didnt work out the way you PLANNED it

so i mean just relax..let things happen. and it will be like an adventure everyday! haha

<P>annd okay theres this boy.

acutally. idk

this friend

and i mean i thought i liked him..in fact im pretty sure i loved him.

but things are way different now, and i guess ill ahve to accept that. but sometimes i just think he does stuff on purpose in front of my face just too see my reaction..? or something idk..but whatever hes trying to do its def working. well hes with this other girl. i dont have a problem with it..but i mean it hurts in an awkward way cause i mean me and him have been through alot AND between her me and him at one point..and i mean just seeing them now its like..i cant explain.

something just kills me inside.

idk what it is, but it makes me want to break down and just swing my arms around him and just cry.

i think im weird for having these feelings. but i cant say i like him cause i dont. hes my best friend. and the sad thing is, we dont <u>even</u> act like it.

i love tessa.

shes so full of life. i mean really, she is my best friend...forever. sometimes i think other/certian people manipulate her. it kills me to see that too. she may not even know it. but i <i>see</i> it. but im not going to force/ or control her to not hang out or to hang out with certain people, but i really want her to be careful and just think independently.

ahhhh i love her!'

ahh this sort of helped me out

-ashlyn

Currently Listening This Type Of Thinking Could Do Us In By Chevelle see related

alrighty

xanga. yes. xanga.

im starting to get used to it..again

well today, was alright. getting colder. yes. and well this week is going by really slow. i hate it!

well i really appreciate all the COOL people who are on xanga.

well i have nothing else to say. ill update laterr

Currently Listening Hey There Delilah By Plain White T's see related

Alright, well today was pretty good for a monday :P

well woke up on time. ususally i dont

and yeah, although it was freezing today, it was a beautiful day. school was pretty good, and yeah i had to get checked out early today because i had to go to the hospital. no im not sick or getting my appendix removed. it was for something else. =/ something thats really really scary for me. =/

im scared, i really am

alright. myspace has really taken over our lifes. and now im looking at xanga..and so im sitting here reading my old entries. and its wierd. like its wierd that im actually here typing what happend today or whatever from like last year.

this will be my journal. and i find it helpful and just simply amazing to reflect on...everything;

this new school year. DULUTH HIGH SCHOOL 2006 as a freshman:

"changing" is the new trend.

<br>everywhere you go. you have something to say to a person as they pass you; a whole book to write about them. and i promise you that its mainly about change.

<br>it really, really pisses me off that people dont say theyve changed. and that their friends/peers are the ones who have. IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. and this is a simple situation that turns into a serious complex problem towards others that effect dramaticaly between the friendship. and it kills me how that is like 90% of the reason tohers arent friends with others.

<br>well yeah. im telling you this cause this has happend to me. on my first month of high school.

<br>i apparently was the one who only changed. everyone else was the same, apparently

<br>but i accepted it.

<br>you know why?

<br>i only accepted it because i couldnt really do anything about it in the first place;  i had to have them learn that their reaction to everything IS the change. see, their changing and not even realizing it RIGHT THERE.

<br>and so much trust was gone. so much trust just died. i was DONE.

<br>the only person who stood next to me, who supported me, who took me for who i am, was amy le. she herself went through alot. and in the end, we both needed eachother. without her, i probably would have made the wrong choices, or would have let my friends stomp all over me. amy actually cared.

<br>you know what they say..you find your true friends in high school.

<br>i find that extremely true.